By Gina Segall ‘12 and Katie Donahoe ‘12

Ray Friend has been around here a long time. A really long time. We’ve all seen him and we all love him, but Ray, known as one of the more mysterious teachers at Windward, is in fact mysterious, and proud of his mystique. No one really knows Ray Friend.

All of you who have had the pleasure of being taught by Ray know of his quirky and dry sense of humor, his daily quizzes and his disdain for tardiness. But, did you know he went to Uni? Do you know what his favorite color is? Or his full name? We do.

The Bridge: “Where did you go to college?”
Ray Friend: “San Francisco State. I lived in the Haight, actually.”
B: “Do you have any hobbies?”
RF:“No.”
B: “Did you like math in high school?”
RF: “Yes, I did. I really liked geometry.”
B: “Have you had any teachers after whom you modeled yourself?”
RF: “Miss Sherrine. She taught me geometry or algebra. I liked her sense of humor. When it rained, she used to go out to the racetrack, put a plastic bag over herself, cut holes out for her eyes, and she would sit there in the rain smoking a cigarette.”
B: “What was your favorite decade or year at Windward?”
RF: “Probably 1974 to 2009.”
B: “Do you have a mustache comb?”
RF: “I have an aversion to all combs. That’s why I cut my hair.”
B: “So, you wouldn’t want kids giving you mustache combs?”
RF: “No, I wouldn’t enjoy that.”
B: “Did you used to have long hair?”
RF: “Yes, at one point. Between 1964 and sometime in the ’80s.”
B: “How long was it?”
RF: “As long as it would grow.”
B: “What would you be if you weren’t a math teacher?”
RF: “Homeless.”
B: “Where did you grow up?”
RF: “I grew up here, actually. I was born at St. John’s. And I went to Uni.”
(Ray then burst into a University High cheer: “U-N-I-V-E-R-S-I-T-Y Fight, Fight, Fight”)
B: “Where did you get the blue jacket you wear?”
RF: “This was, I believe, a faculty Christmas present, I think, in 1989. It’s gotta be ’80s, right? It’s the disco look. Most people with any self-respect would never wear this.”
B: “What’s your favorite sport?”
RF: “To watch, would-be college football.”
B: “Do you have a favorite team?”
RF: “UCLA, I’m sorry to say.”
B: “What is your full name?”
RF: “You’ll never know.”
(Oh, we know. For all of you curious as to what Ray’s full name is: we were challenged to figure it out and did. Now, it’s your turn.)

Partial Proust Questionnaire, courtesy of Marcel Proust (via Vanity Fair)
B: “What is your most marked characteristic?”
RF: “I’m rather cynical. Wouldn’t you say? Dry? Jaded, maybe.”
B: “What is your favorite color?”
RF: “My favorite color is black. It goes with everything. Always in.”
B: “Who are your heroes in real life?”
RF: “I’m not big on the hero thing. They’re not famous people. They’re people in your life, like your mom or your dad.”
B: “What is it you most dislike?”
RF: “Wasting time. I hate wasting time. But, I also really hate being stuck in the examination room waiting for the doctor. Like, when you’re in the waiting room and they call your name. And then you go into that small little room and you have to wait there for the doctor. I really hate that. I dislike a lot of things. It might take awhile to go through, so I won’t. Oh, I also hate when the flight is delayed.”
B: “What is your present state of mind?”
RF: “It’s deteriorating rapidly. My mental health is always questionable. I wake up every morning and think, ‘Oh my god, am I really functioning?’”
B: “What is your motto?”
RF: “I have no idea. Actually, that’s my motto.”